The Terrible, Horrible, Awful, Scary, Icy Road of Death!

Sigh..... it's time to go get water again, which isn't THAT big of a deal except for the fact that the road to our spring has ice on it and I just HATE driving on ice. Especially when the road is downhill from my house AND has about a 1000 foot drop off on the side. When I have complained about this scary situation to my husband, he helpfully says, "Shoot. You won't go far if you go over the edge. You'll hit a tree or boulder and stop. At some point." That made me feel TONS better. Sheeeeeeesh. :P

Two years ago when I had this same set of circumstances, I decided to drive backwards the quarter mile down to the spring, which horrified everyone in my life. Some told me to never ever do that again or at least don't tell them about it if I do. Hey, I'd rather slide out of control backwards than forwards. For some reason. I thought about this for a while, why would that be? Self analyzation began.

I thought back to when I was little. My sisters and I were often alone when we were young because my poor mom had to work two jobs. When we'd hear a scary noise at night, I would immediately go to the closet and hide. My youngest sister who is impressively brave, went searching for the cause of the noise. And I being the big sister, let her. Thankfully it was never anything bad but I still hid, each time. She wanted to face the danger, I wanted to hide from it and wait for it to come get me.

Later, in adulthood, I was nearly involved in two most certainly fatal car accidents. I was not driving in either incident nor were either of these my fault. I was simply a passenger. I saw the events unfolding and realized we were probably about to die. What did I do? Scream? Helpfully offer good advice to the driver? Try to exit the car? No. I simply closed my eyes and waited for the collision - which thankfully never happened in either case. I'm not really sure how we got out of one of the situations actually - maybe I should have kept my eyes open. Nah. I am Monkey See No Evil.

One year I went rafting down the river with my family in Montana in the spring when the rivers are swollen and full and rushing like mad. Where people die every year. There were ten of us in the boat, all ages, from 80 to 5 years. Every single person in the boat was laughing and having fun. Except me. What was I doing? Putting my head down, not watching, still having fun mind you, but I didn't want to see the froth and waves that were about to cover us up. I have a picture of this to prove it. (It looks hilarious btw.)

So. my self introspection revealed that I prefer to not face danger or see it coming. I'll calmly (bravely?) take what comes but I will do it with my eyes closed. So what does this say about me? I'm not actually sure. I'm not necessarily afraid of dying, I just don't want to SEE it. Hence, driving backwards down the hill. It's not like you can control where you're going when you start sliding whether you're going forward or backwards anyway. I'll just go with it and not watch and slide till we stop. Somewhere. At some point.

Or maybe I'll just wait for  my husband to get home and let him go get the water. Yeah. I'll even go with him. But I'm not looking. The End. Well, hopefully not. ;)