I like to tweak my husband Butch because, well, he SO deserves it. He just does. Trust me on this one. If you knew him you'd agree. He's a good man, a smart man, a hard-working man but he's a real stinker too sometimes. I, being not so much of a genius, and having a distressing lack of common sense, have often done, shall we say, stupid things? Made unfortunate mistakes around here? I won't go into them because it would take far too long but my mistake-prone self has caused him to act in a way towards me that annoys me at times. Like, when he walks in the door, he automatically asks, "OK, what did you tear up today?" Well. Humph! Nothing! Well, not much anyway. Tsk. Or he will severely scold me when I didn't vent the generator correctly and almost asphyxiated myself and all seven dogs and one cat. Or he goes completely berserk when I set the ten foot pile of wood scraps on fire, ACCIDENTALLY mind you, that made a forty foot high fire that could be seen for miles around. Sheesh.
So needless to say, he doesn't have a lot of confidence in me and honestly I don't blame him but does he have to be such a stinker about it?
Which leads me to the understandable desire to tweak him sometimes. It totally makes my day.
Our tractor takes diesel fuel, NOT gasoline. I told him one day with the innocence of a puppy and a very I'm-so-proud-of-myself-smile, "Hey guess what? I filled the tractor with gasoline today all by myself!" His eyes popped out of his head and he swallowed and slowly asked, "Uh you mean diesel, don't you? PLEASE tell me you didn't put gasoline in the tractor." I just looked at him with my best stupid face like, "Huh?" Tee hee!
Another time, because it didn't occur to me to check the spring when it got below -10 degrees for a week (DUH!), I had let the spring freeze so hard and solid that it took me an entire week to chop through the top of the 4-inch thick ice so we could get water. (I never let it freeze like that again I can tell you.) Butch of course rolled his eyes at me for letting it get that way. Roll your eyes at me will you? He seriously needed to be tweaked. So when he got home one day I said, again with evident pride in my geniousness, "Hey! Guess what? I figured out how to get rid of the ice in the spring and it worked like a charm! I poured 'Ice Melt' on top of the ice in our water tank! Good idea right?" All he did this time was put his head down on the table and groan. (I guess I should have been insulted that he actually believed I would have done something quite THIS dumb but I was too busy enjoying his discomfort.) That was a good one. Hee Hee!
Our tractor is expensive (to us) and absolutely indispensable to our life here. It. Is. IMPORTANT. ok? So , naturally, it is often the subject of the tweaking. He got home one day and I said, "Ok, in my defense..." to which he begins to hold his breath and veins pop out on his neck. I continued, "I used the tractor to jumpstart the riding lawn mower and I accidentally let the two hooky-up things touch after I attached the hooky-up things to to the tractor and there was this pop and a smell and now the tractor won't start." He then fainted. Har har!
Oh wait. This wasn't a tweaking, I really did that one. Oh well, still got him good. And being the genius he is, he went out, fiddled around under the hood of the tractor for like two seconds and got it running again. Thank God. Phew! All's well that ends well. Ha HA! Stinker. I kind of feel sorry for him though. Maybe I shouldn't tweak him so much. I do kind of deserve the bad attitude. I have made a few mistakes around here. Hmmm...... Ok, I hereby resolve to give this poor man a break and not tweak him. Any more. This year. ;)
HA,ha,ha, Rolling on the FLOOR! Love it!
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